So whatever happened to the idea that a guy saw a girl, liked her, and asked her on a date? He picked her up, took her to dinner and a movie, and then dropped her off at home without asking for anything in return but her company. What was so bad about that arrangement, anyway? It used to be guys were polite and chivalrous. They brought you flowers on a first date. Were very patient and didn't press you for anything you didn't want to give. Dating used to be in the hands of the women. Now dating is little more than going to a bar and finding someone to go home with.
How did we get to this?
I miss the good ol' days when it was ok to go on dates with multiple men. You'd go out, have some fun, and then come home again. Dating was supposed to be the process by which you determined what you wanted in a man and in your life and it helped you determine whose qualities suited yours the best. Dating used to be the great yardstick of love. Now everyone pushes themselves to settle into relationships too soon and spends so much of their time with the wrong guy while the right one passes them by because they weren't free.
It's not that I'm against monogamy. And it's not that I'm against relationships. I think a healthy, loving relationship is a wonderful thing! I just don't think it's something to be taken lightly. I'm guilty of it myself, allowing myself to fall into the comfortable habit of being with one person exclusively before I really know if they're the person I want to really be with. I know what it's like to dread waiting for that "one" to fall into your lap.
I just think that if we got back into that dating mentality, Not the "I want to get into your pants" mentality, there would be a lot less divorce in this world. From high school on we pretty much train ourselves to be in that one person at a time desire. Part of being in this world is experiencing what it has to offer us! Part of that is really searching ourselves and deciding what we want and need through trial and error!
I guess it took me a long time to learn the hard way. Yes, I still want to be in that comfortable relationship. Yes, I still have the intense desire to have someone to curl up to in the middle of the night. But I'm not going to allow myself to settle anymore for anyone I'm not sure I have a really good shot of making it last with. I want to break this cycle. I want to experience dating and I want a gentleman above all. I miss that kind of courtesy. I'm not going to be all trite and stupid and say I deserve to be treated like a goddess or whatever. I am going to say I deserve to be treated like a lady, since that is what I am.
Day 31 - 334 Days To Go
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