I'm sure there's something in a shade of gray

I can remember the exact moment I started hating bananas and it had nothing to do with how they taste or the texture. I was in the fourth or fifth grade. I took bagged lunches to school in those days usually consisting of a sandwich, crackers, fruit, and I'd buy milk at school.

One morning, it was gray and drizzling outside. I had a rare treat in my lunch, a Debbie cake. I was carrying my lunch to the side entrance of the school, waiting for the first bell. I looked through my paper sack, looking eagerly at the oatmeal cookie thing and resisting the temptation to eat it right then and there. I remember looking at my banana and thinking "Why do I need you?"

So I threw it into the grass and hopped into the building to start my school day. I thought nothing of it until I got back home that afternoon and my Aunt asked me about my day. I don't know how she knew but she asked about my lunch. Long story short she found out about my lost banana.

I told her the truth right away. I thought she'd be mad, yell a little or something but she calmly sat me down. She told me a story about the banana I threw away and how it had waited to be eaten and used for energy by a little girl that needed it and how excited it was until it was tossed in the grass. The moment my eyes started to tear over I knew I'd never eat a banana again. She'd humanized it for me, giving it a life and consciousness. But I felt bad for "Mr. Banana" and the very next day the first thing I did was run to the side of the school and look for my discarded fruit. I'm sure the janitor had picked it up the night before sometime but all the same I felt so ashamed for having wasted the banana's usefullness.

Now that I'm older, I know better than to think that a banana has a sentience but I can't stomach the idea of eating one anymore. I still enjoy the taste of them in, say, banana bread, but I cannot actually hold a banana and eat it all because of a casual choice in my childhood.

It's weird the random circumstances that shape our perception.

Day 13 - 362 To Go