Pregnancy and Friendship

So I found out recently that a friend of mine and her husband are expecting another child and had planned for it. Normally, this would not bother me in the slightest until I considered the friend. The friend in question has been my friend since high school. She is a raving co-dependant and coupled up with this much older (12 years I think) guy when he got her pregnant. Since then they have 2 very beautiful little girls that are school age.

Now my problem is this. On their facebook sites I’m always seeing my friend complaining about finances. She’s talking about having no food in the house but she can’t go grocery shopping until her husband comes home with the advance on his pay. Or she tells everyone that their phone is getting turned off for a few days but they can still manage to play WoW or, later, City of Villains. Both are MMORPGs and carry a monthly subscription fee.

Now, I’ve known my friend was pregnant for a while and sat on the knowledge without saying a word for a LONG time. But finally, the topic was brought up last night and I said how I felt. She must have told her husband because the next thing I know he’s spouting off on his Facebook asking why people have to be concerned about their business. Everyone, not just me, told him that they were concerned about the family finances.

To me, it’s just selfishness. They planned for a baby because they wanted to have one but they didn’t plan for it in any way other than not being surprised when she turned up pregnant. They didn’t talk about their finances. They didn’t talk about living spaces. They didn’t talk about anything that most normal people talk about in the planning stages of a new life. They assume WIC and Welfare will get them through. And, you know, it may but how fair is that that people who work hard contribute have to their irresponsibility??

Anyway, it’s gotten me upset but if I’m not their friend for expressing real concerns about bringing a life into the world in their financial condition, then I’ll never be a good friend to them. Good friends don’t keep their mouths shut when they see something wrong. They tell the truth even at the risk of upsetting their friends because they want to help their friends see what they see. The people that stay silent don’t really care.

Day 56 - 309 Days to Go