I think I'm so damn sleepy today cause it's raining. I slept like a baby last night. I always do when it's raining, even if it wasn't when I went to bed.
C'mon 5 o'clock!! I need a nap!
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Absurdity
See also - Jay Leno's Chin.
Well, maybe not.
"Jesus Take the Wheel" for example. Full of absurdity. I know it's this big metaphorical thing and I'm sure any Christian fanatics will probably hate me upon reading it but I just can't take that song seriously. She's about to die, spinning in the middle of the night on a dark road with a baby in the backseat and the only thing she can think to do is, wait for it, let go of the steering wheel?? Really? Like, Really?
Tell me you take that seriously...I dare you!
If it were me, I'd grab the wheel, do those things you get taught to do in situations like this, make sure the car pulls over safely, check on the baby, then cry and pray. I understand the idea of getting to that breaking point where you realize that you've got to change things or you will inevitably decline. I've been there, I've done that. I've seen my life slipping into something I didn't want. I got on my knees and prayed. It's not that I don't get the spirit of the song, I do. I just think that part is absurd.
Cheeze Whiz is absurd, too. And, also, it seems, a recurring theme in this blog.
Speaking of absurd, too, best wedding toast ever: "May the love we celebrate today fall slowly into it's inevitable decline."
Why can't I think of things like that??
Also Absurd - giving teenagers a Mercedes. Up here it seems like you're no one without a Lexus, Mercedes, or BMW. Why is it that status is defined by stuff? I've rarely met someone with an expensive car that wasn't an ass or didn't drive like one. It's like those small trucks with huge wheels or those stupid lowriders where you just think to yourself "Nice car. Sorry your dick is so small."
Sheesh.
Day 8 - 357 Days to Go
Well, maybe not.
"Jesus Take the Wheel" for example. Full of absurdity. I know it's this big metaphorical thing and I'm sure any Christian fanatics will probably hate me upon reading it but I just can't take that song seriously. She's about to die, spinning in the middle of the night on a dark road with a baby in the backseat and the only thing she can think to do is, wait for it, let go of the steering wheel?? Really? Like, Really?
Tell me you take that seriously...I dare you!
If it were me, I'd grab the wheel, do those things you get taught to do in situations like this, make sure the car pulls over safely, check on the baby, then cry and pray. I understand the idea of getting to that breaking point where you realize that you've got to change things or you will inevitably decline. I've been there, I've done that. I've seen my life slipping into something I didn't want. I got on my knees and prayed. It's not that I don't get the spirit of the song, I do. I just think that part is absurd.
Cheeze Whiz is absurd, too. And, also, it seems, a recurring theme in this blog.
Speaking of absurd, too, best wedding toast ever: "May the love we celebrate today fall slowly into it's inevitable decline."
Why can't I think of things like that??
Also Absurd - giving teenagers a Mercedes. Up here it seems like you're no one without a Lexus, Mercedes, or BMW. Why is it that status is defined by stuff? I've rarely met someone with an expensive car that wasn't an ass or didn't drive like one. It's like those small trucks with huge wheels or those stupid lowriders where you just think to yourself "Nice car. Sorry your dick is so small."
Sheesh.
Day 8 - 357 Days to Go
Monday, August 30, 2010
Ain't No Sunshine When She's Gone
For a minute I didn't know why I'd titled my blog that particular lyric. Then I remembered, my boss is out sick today. Kathy is a great boss to work for. She's funny and really sweet. She feels like a sister to me. I know it's not the most professional policy to become personally attached to someone at work but I don't think I'll ever meet someone Kathy cannot get along with. She's just one of those people. She is this office's ray of sunshine.
Well, right now she's a sick ray of sunshine. Thus, why I'm in her office.
I'm helping my best friend since middle school pick out bridesmaid dresses. I'm not little. I'm not huge either but I am a solid 16. It's kinda hard to help your friend plan a wedding from 2 states away. I've spent some time trying to find a bridesmaid dress that won't make everyone look 2 sizes larger than they actually are.
It's funny seeing pictures of dresses on a "Plus Size" site of these tiny little women wearing these gorgeous dresses. You'd think on a plus size site you'd see the dresses modeled for their intended demographic - plus sized women. No such luck, though, so I've had to imagine what they'd look like on my body. Not a pretty picture, folks.
Still, I sent her 10 options I think will be nice. 4 even that I'm really fond of. I don't know who all is in the wedding party but I guess it doesn't matter. I don't even care if I get stuck in some God awful monstrosity that makes me look like a whale. This is her day and if she wants it, she wants it. It's my duty to comply. It's also my duty to throw her a bachelorette party. Maybe I'll go with her to Vegas and we can celebrate together. Get drunk, hit a strip club, something. I dunno.
Today has been nice and easy. I only have one agent in so that makes things especially good for the lack of pressure. Lots of data entry and very little on the "OMG DO IT NOW" stuff.
What to make for dinner, though? Cheesy mack and Chicken with broccoli? Sounds like a plan to me. Or maybe Keilbasa and rice.Decisions, decisions.
Day 7 - 358 to Go.
Well, right now she's a sick ray of sunshine. Thus, why I'm in her office.
I'm helping my best friend since middle school pick out bridesmaid dresses. I'm not little. I'm not huge either but I am a solid 16. It's kinda hard to help your friend plan a wedding from 2 states away. I've spent some time trying to find a bridesmaid dress that won't make everyone look 2 sizes larger than they actually are.
It's funny seeing pictures of dresses on a "Plus Size" site of these tiny little women wearing these gorgeous dresses. You'd think on a plus size site you'd see the dresses modeled for their intended demographic - plus sized women. No such luck, though, so I've had to imagine what they'd look like on my body. Not a pretty picture, folks.
Still, I sent her 10 options I think will be nice. 4 even that I'm really fond of. I don't know who all is in the wedding party but I guess it doesn't matter. I don't even care if I get stuck in some God awful monstrosity that makes me look like a whale. This is her day and if she wants it, she wants it. It's my duty to comply. It's also my duty to throw her a bachelorette party. Maybe I'll go with her to Vegas and we can celebrate together. Get drunk, hit a strip club, something. I dunno.
Today has been nice and easy. I only have one agent in so that makes things especially good for the lack of pressure. Lots of data entry and very little on the "OMG DO IT NOW" stuff.
What to make for dinner, though? Cheesy mack and Chicken with broccoli? Sounds like a plan to me. Or maybe Keilbasa and rice.Decisions, decisions.
Day 7 - 358 to Go.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Sunday Bloody Sunday
Isn't it funny how you can get away with saying things in another language to make them less, I dunno, offensive?
Bloody, for example, translates into fucking. So the correct title of this entry would be Sunday Fucking Sunday. That doesn't sound as good and probably wouldn't have gotten as much time on the radio airwaves. Suddenly, though, you make it all English sounding and it's a number one hit!
I guess it wouldn't be such a big deal to say "fuck" now on the radio. Just ask a rapper. At the time, though, you had to hide references to drugs and curse words. It's part of this whole degenerative state of the world as we know it. Of course, the opposite can be true as well, I suppose. Uncle Buck is a PG movie and they say shit a couple of times. How'd that slip by the good ol' censors? Wonder if it was rated differently when it came out originally.
Another thing I'm noticing lately is the trend of making something cooler by giving it a foreign name. Yaoi for example basically means homosexual males. But somehow if you call yourself into Yaoi it sounds much cooler and is widely more accepted than if you just come out plainly and say you're gay. Bigots might disagree but when I'm looking for roleplay all I see are requests for males and females for Yaoi RP, it gets old. It's like giving something a Japanese name made it cooler and therefore, more desirable. Yaoi made gay a trend.
It's nice that being gay, les, whatever is pretty much accepted by the younger generation. With no bad stigma attached it means it won't be long before people of that persuasion are given right equal to hetero couples. I'm all for equality and progress. I'm just not sure how I feel about making lesbian and gay a trend by slapping a Japanese label on it. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe that's not one of the main reasons it's being accepted. Maybe tolerance is making a comeback.
I woke up late today, at 2:30. I went to bed at my usual 3am but that's still almost twelve hours later. I feel lazy and sluggish because of it. Patrick is vacuuming the house tonight, which is awesome! It needed it. We have to go grocery shopping in a little bit to pick up some odds and ends to get us by. Mundane crap.
I suppose I should probably be doing something productive.
Day 6 - 359 Days to go
Bloody, for example, translates into fucking. So the correct title of this entry would be Sunday Fucking Sunday. That doesn't sound as good and probably wouldn't have gotten as much time on the radio airwaves. Suddenly, though, you make it all English sounding and it's a number one hit!
I guess it wouldn't be such a big deal to say "fuck" now on the radio. Just ask a rapper. At the time, though, you had to hide references to drugs and curse words. It's part of this whole degenerative state of the world as we know it. Of course, the opposite can be true as well, I suppose. Uncle Buck is a PG movie and they say shit a couple of times. How'd that slip by the good ol' censors? Wonder if it was rated differently when it came out originally.
Another thing I'm noticing lately is the trend of making something cooler by giving it a foreign name. Yaoi for example basically means homosexual males. But somehow if you call yourself into Yaoi it sounds much cooler and is widely more accepted than if you just come out plainly and say you're gay. Bigots might disagree but when I'm looking for roleplay all I see are requests for males and females for Yaoi RP, it gets old. It's like giving something a Japanese name made it cooler and therefore, more desirable. Yaoi made gay a trend.
It's nice that being gay, les, whatever is pretty much accepted by the younger generation. With no bad stigma attached it means it won't be long before people of that persuasion are given right equal to hetero couples. I'm all for equality and progress. I'm just not sure how I feel about making lesbian and gay a trend by slapping a Japanese label on it. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe that's not one of the main reasons it's being accepted. Maybe tolerance is making a comeback.
I woke up late today, at 2:30. I went to bed at my usual 3am but that's still almost twelve hours later. I feel lazy and sluggish because of it. Patrick is vacuuming the house tonight, which is awesome! It needed it. We have to go grocery shopping in a little bit to pick up some odds and ends to get us by. Mundane crap.
I suppose I should probably be doing something productive.
Day 6 - 359 Days to go
Saturday, why must you hate me??
So my regular sleep schedule is from 3am to 11am. I start work at noon most days. 8AM sometimes. My boyfriend's is generally midnight to 6AM. It's nice that he stays up with me, it's even nicer when he goes to sleep. From midnight to 3AM is my quiet time. The time when I get to relax in front of my computer, doing whatever, with my kitty nearby and purring.
I value my quiet time.
I ate at Jack in the Box for the first time tonight since moving to WA from CA. I had a sourdough chicken club with curly fries. Bad for me but oh so tasty! They even piled on the lettuce so I had extra crunch! I gave Patrick a bite and now I think he wants to try it for himself. They have pretty decent breakfasts. Jack in the Box isn't heard of in Georgia (I think?).
The power went out for a good long while tonight. Just us, our house and the streetlight across the way. Everyone on all sides of us had power. It was kind of funny to see. Patrick and I wandered around our neighborhood seeing the extent of the damage and finding it was localized to our grid. *shrug* Ah, well, we lit candles and stayed up playing dominoes and poker. I know the official past time of blackouts is sex but quite frankly we'd done that and I wanted to move onto something else.
After it came back on at 1AM or so, Patrick played on his computer and went to bed. I, of course, stayed up. I'm currently downloading games from Big Fish and testing them out. I have a membership so I get a credit free each month. I've played my other games to death so it's time for something new.
With that, I think I'm creatively spent. Goodnight cyber space.
Day 5 - 360 to go
I value my quiet time.
I ate at Jack in the Box for the first time tonight since moving to WA from CA. I had a sourdough chicken club with curly fries. Bad for me but oh so tasty! They even piled on the lettuce so I had extra crunch! I gave Patrick a bite and now I think he wants to try it for himself. They have pretty decent breakfasts. Jack in the Box isn't heard of in Georgia (I think?).
The power went out for a good long while tonight. Just us, our house and the streetlight across the way. Everyone on all sides of us had power. It was kind of funny to see. Patrick and I wandered around our neighborhood seeing the extent of the damage and finding it was localized to our grid. *shrug* Ah, well, we lit candles and stayed up playing dominoes and poker. I know the official past time of blackouts is sex but quite frankly we'd done that and I wanted to move onto something else.
After it came back on at 1AM or so, Patrick played on his computer and went to bed. I, of course, stayed up. I'm currently downloading games from Big Fish and testing them out. I have a membership so I get a credit free each month. I've played my other games to death so it's time for something new.
With that, I think I'm creatively spent. Goodnight cyber space.
Day 5 - 360 to go
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Fun Fridays
So today was a very busy day. And by that I mean SLOW. I was crawling trying to find something, anything, to occupy my time with. My job is one of those feast or famine deals. Either there's nothing to do or there's too much to do. Take your pick. Still, I managed to stay reasonably entertained. Lots of good humor and filing.
Tonight sucked. The boyfriend stayed over with some friends of ours last night so he could help them move today. I think it's a good gesture but considering he works tomorrow and isn't home yet I'd say that's an indication of bad planning on his part. I'm trying not to be mad. Work is work. Still, I wish I could be able to spend a weekend with him.
Stumbling in at midnight thirty and getting up at six is no way to live. Of course, he won't listen when I tell him that. He'll only think I'm trying to be his mother and ignore me that much harder.
Fuck I hate men sometimes.
Day 4 - 361 days to go
Tonight sucked. The boyfriend stayed over with some friends of ours last night so he could help them move today. I think it's a good gesture but considering he works tomorrow and isn't home yet I'd say that's an indication of bad planning on his part. I'm trying not to be mad. Work is work. Still, I wish I could be able to spend a weekend with him.
Stumbling in at midnight thirty and getting up at six is no way to live. Of course, he won't listen when I tell him that. He'll only think I'm trying to be his mother and ignore me that much harder.
Fuck I hate men sometimes.
Day 4 - 361 days to go
Thursday, August 26, 2010
All About Me
Everything is, isn't it?
Well, no I guess not everything.
Still, I'm pretty emotionally wired lately and very much self centric.
Driving seems to be my zen state. Put me in a car on the road and I'm a happy panda. Tonight as I was driving home from a friends, I was thinking about my life, my relationship. I wondered what Pat would do without me, if I died suddenly one night. On average, I kill myself probably 20 times a day. I'm not suicidal, just fascinated by the idea.
I've been so stressed out lately, and then some chick decided to turn left as I was going through my green light and almost ran into me. It was the last straw on this camel. I pulled over into an empty parking lot and screamed for about five minutes. My throat hurt like bloody murder but I somehow felt a little better.
I'm babysitting a kitty and my own feels usurped from his position as mommy's baby. They can't get near one another without hissing and being as dramatic as possible without actually doing anything about it. It'd be funny if it wasn't starting to get annoying.
Fell off the wagon on my water kick. I drank 2 cupfuls. I didn't like going to the bathroom twenty times a day.
Day 3 - 362
Well, no I guess not everything.
Still, I'm pretty emotionally wired lately and very much self centric.
Driving seems to be my zen state. Put me in a car on the road and I'm a happy panda. Tonight as I was driving home from a friends, I was thinking about my life, my relationship. I wondered what Pat would do without me, if I died suddenly one night. On average, I kill myself probably 20 times a day. I'm not suicidal, just fascinated by the idea.
I've been so stressed out lately, and then some chick decided to turn left as I was going through my green light and almost ran into me. It was the last straw on this camel. I pulled over into an empty parking lot and screamed for about five minutes. My throat hurt like bloody murder but I somehow felt a little better.
I'm babysitting a kitty and my own feels usurped from his position as mommy's baby. They can't get near one another without hissing and being as dramatic as possible without actually doing anything about it. It'd be funny if it wasn't starting to get annoying.
Fell off the wagon on my water kick. I drank 2 cupfuls. I didn't like going to the bathroom twenty times a day.
Day 3 - 362
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Pointless Existential Quandary
One of my more existential moments. What do people think about the moment before they die? Without bringing religion into things, what do you think about? What could possibly be so important? Or, conversely, so unimportant that it registers? If anyone in the world is at all like me then they tend to think about frivolous things at the worst of times. I’d probably spend my last moment thinking about Cheeze Wiz or something. I don’t even like Cheeze Wiz. And I could have all the Cheeze Wiz in the world and in a second it wouldn’t matter but by golly I’d spend that critical moment wasted in Cheeze Wiz paradise.
The more I think about it, the more I think the last moment of our lives should be spent in pointless thought. I mean, we’re just this tiny drop in a huge bucket that started off as water and is slowly turning into sewage as time goes on. Why should we glorify our existence by thinking about the summation of our lives. We’ve all heard the movie myth. Our life flashes before we die and we see a bright light and all that jazz. I don’t believe it. Even if death were predictable enough that we knew the exact moment of our deaths how could our thoughts not be scattered? How do you not think of the dog you had when you were six named Scout or your allergy to cotton?
Meh. I guess I’ll find out someday.
By the way, I’m on my 4th cup of water since 10 this morning and I’ve already gone to the bathroom twice. No one said change was easy.
Day 2 - 363 Days to Go
The more I think about it, the more I think the last moment of our lives should be spent in pointless thought. I mean, we’re just this tiny drop in a huge bucket that started off as water and is slowly turning into sewage as time goes on. Why should we glorify our existence by thinking about the summation of our lives. We’ve all heard the movie myth. Our life flashes before we die and we see a bright light and all that jazz. I don’t believe it. Even if death were predictable enough that we knew the exact moment of our deaths how could our thoughts not be scattered? How do you not think of the dog you had when you were six named Scout or your allergy to cotton?
Meh. I guess I’ll find out someday.
By the way, I’m on my 4th cup of water since 10 this morning and I’ve already gone to the bathroom twice. No one said change was easy.
Day 2 - 363 Days to Go
Oye Vey
I was thinking something today. Why is it I can post a couple statuses on Facebook throughout the day but I can't manage to sit down and write a few simple paragraphs? It’s not exactly as if my thinking is linear. In high school I’d daydream in Geography and start off in Australia and end up thinking about Twinkies. So, if this is the norm, it would stand to reason that a million little thoughts pop into my brain briefly before running away again. Plenty of fuel for the fire, right?
Maybe calling my life wreckage, as was pointed out by a friend, may be a bit of an overstatement. Beautiful disaster might be closer to the truth. It’s not perfect by any means but it’s certainly not that bad. It just feels like a train wreck sometimes. Especially lately with Patrick and Cherie mucking up my existence.
On the other hand, the bane of my afternoon is on vacation for 2 weeks so work will be a breath of fresh air for a little while at least.
I’m forcing myself to drink more water as my resolution to get healthier. My body needs to stay hydrated and I need to flush out the bad crap and start all over again. I’m keeping a small paper cup at my desk and every time I walk to the back of the office toward the water cooler, I take it with and force myself to down a cup. I’m on cup number 2 since this resolution.
I’m working on a writing commission for someone, writing the next chapter of a short story someone wrote for her once. It’s been a nice exercise in creativity for me. I’m going through it ok, getting a good plot going. I wonder if I’m trying to force too much into it since it’s only supposed to be a short story. It’s 3 typed (double spaced) pages right now and growing whenever I get the urge here and there.
By the way, “Falling in Love at a Coffee Shop” is, like, the creepiest song ever. It makes me think of stalkers and stuff. And, besides, no man should ever sing that high without getting kicked in the balls first.
Also, easy listening stations are the worst! I listen to that at work (or slowly go insane listening to the constant chatter around me. Cubicles suck.) and I hear the same 10 songs over and over and over. I guess what’s considered “easy listening” appropriate boils down to repeated Elton John, Taylor Swift, Nickleback, REO Speedwagon, and Cyndi Lauper songs. They throw in a little 80’s and a little 2010 but it’s still pretty reliable. If I ever get a hankering to hear “These Dreams” by Heart all I have to do is listen for an hour and sure enough, hankering solved.
Still, you have to respect that kind of predictability. If more things were that regularly predictable, we might be better off.
If only my new boss considered being that reliable, I might not be considering finding a new job.
Day 2 - 363 left to go.
Maybe calling my life wreckage, as was pointed out by a friend, may be a bit of an overstatement. Beautiful disaster might be closer to the truth. It’s not perfect by any means but it’s certainly not that bad. It just feels like a train wreck sometimes. Especially lately with Patrick and Cherie mucking up my existence.
On the other hand, the bane of my afternoon is on vacation for 2 weeks so work will be a breath of fresh air for a little while at least.
I’m forcing myself to drink more water as my resolution to get healthier. My body needs to stay hydrated and I need to flush out the bad crap and start all over again. I’m keeping a small paper cup at my desk and every time I walk to the back of the office toward the water cooler, I take it with and force myself to down a cup. I’m on cup number 2 since this resolution.
I’m working on a writing commission for someone, writing the next chapter of a short story someone wrote for her once. It’s been a nice exercise in creativity for me. I’m going through it ok, getting a good plot going. I wonder if I’m trying to force too much into it since it’s only supposed to be a short story. It’s 3 typed (double spaced) pages right now and growing whenever I get the urge here and there.
By the way, “Falling in Love at a Coffee Shop” is, like, the creepiest song ever. It makes me think of stalkers and stuff. And, besides, no man should ever sing that high without getting kicked in the balls first.
Also, easy listening stations are the worst! I listen to that at work (or slowly go insane listening to the constant chatter around me. Cubicles suck.) and I hear the same 10 songs over and over and over. I guess what’s considered “easy listening” appropriate boils down to repeated Elton John, Taylor Swift, Nickleback, REO Speedwagon, and Cyndi Lauper songs. They throw in a little 80’s and a little 2010 but it’s still pretty reliable. If I ever get a hankering to hear “These Dreams” by Heart all I have to do is listen for an hour and sure enough, hankering solved.
Still, you have to respect that kind of predictability. If more things were that regularly predictable, we might be better off.
If only my new boss considered being that reliable, I might not be considering finding a new job.
Day 2 - 363 left to go.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
The Decision
Day 1 - 364 Days to Go
Everyone deals with disaster differently. Some people gracefully rise above it and move on to the next phase of their lives. Some people fall to pieces. I, on the other hand, choose to chronicle it in the form of "My Life"
I will write one entry for 365 days straight. I will not pull punches. I will not censor myself or my thoughts. I will tell the tale of the wreckage just as I see it one day at a time. Maybe by the end it won't seem like wreckage.
Everyone deals with disaster differently. Some people gracefully rise above it and move on to the next phase of their lives. Some people fall to pieces. I, on the other hand, choose to chronicle it in the form of "My Life"
I will write one entry for 365 days straight. I will not pull punches. I will not censor myself or my thoughts. I will tell the tale of the wreckage just as I see it one day at a time. Maybe by the end it won't seem like wreckage.
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